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by Zero Panjenix

Well she don’t run around in a crappy old Punto Wouldn’t be seen dead in a Chinky Chento Nissan Micra’s a definite No No Oh Oh Way to Go! She Drives a Transit You can’t fit a Horse in a Volkswagen Polo Can’t fit a bed in the back of a Clio Wrap your Mini round the trunk of a Tree Oh Oh Oh Way to Go! She Drives a Transit She’s got into something big Fits in the band and the crew and the rig If you need getting from A to B She’s got what you need She Drives a Transit She’s too smart to drive a Smart Car Won’t get far in a Wagon R Wunt go t’ Bingo in a Twingo Oh Oh Way to Go! She Drives a Transit She don’t want a Master or a Sprinter Iveco she’s just not into She don’t want a burnt out LDV Oh Oh Way to Go! She Drives a Transit She’s not fussed ‘bout what she’s wearing She’s more into power steering Pedal to the Metal and away we go With the BEE on the radio She Drives a Transit We’re all Tranny Vannin We Love ‘em and we leave ‘em hangin We’re all Tranny Vannin Up your Motorway C1, C2, C3 NO !! C1, C2, C3 NO !! C1, C2, C3 NO !! Oh Oh Way to Go! She Drives a Transit Pullin up a hill in 2nd gear A thick black cloud began to appear Piston Broke and the Big End’s gone, Gaskets Blew and it all went wrong Had to call the R.A.C. They picked her up for FREE Threw it on the back and home in time for tea. Yippee!!
Looking down from a hilltop at the town See the frantic population rushing round Mundane situations make it so hard to break free But from right up here it all just looks so very small to me It gets me Higher x2 Chorus Drinking from a fountain and the water tastes like wine Don’t try to tell a mountain You’ve stood the test of time Think that you’re so old and wise but don’t try tell it to a tree Unless it’s the big picture that you see. Walking on down the high street in the rain Listening to the music in my brain Don’t get disillusioned by the cold conformity There’s a wealth of opportunities that open up to me Just like a flower x2 Chorus Sitting home on a cold and stormy night The world outside could end but I’m alright It’s OK to cry every once in a while There’s sure to be something else out there that’s gonna make you smile And last forever x2
Magic Number 04:59
Run, Run, Running like a rodent, Run, Running like a rat on a wheel, Running like a rabbit `til you`re frozen in the headlights Of a future that is coming that you don't want to see. Saturday Night - Were all glued to the screen. Saturday Night - Is when our dreams can come true. Saturday Night - The Wheel is starting to spin It never stops at You. Magic and Mystery, - What`s the Magic Number ? Red Letter don't get any better when it`s last orders on a final demand. Situation needs are desperation for a lifeline to pull us out of this Hole. And be the end - of all My worries and woes. And be the end - of all My heartache and pain. And be the end - of My Depression and doubt. And put me high on a plane. Magic and Mystery, - What`s the Magic Number ? Alright jack cut me sum slack, if you buy me a drink and I`ll buy you one back. It isn`t Very Funny When I don't have any money To have a dozen commercials tell me what I lack. I`m a lucky winner - I got text on my phone. I`m a lucky winner - I got Mail. I`m a lucky winner - It just came through my door. Everything`s going my way. Magic and Mystery, - What`s the Magic Number ? Bright light in the sky tonight, Spaceship or Satellite. Damn right I`m gonna fly my kite. Looking for a lucky lucky lightning strike. And be the end - of all My worries and woes. And be the end - of all My heartache and pain. And be the end - of My Depression and doubt. And put me high on a plane. Magic and Mystery, - What`s the Magic Number ? When I get it all, all the walls will fall, The seas will part and be gone. All the mountains I climbed now so far behind, Out on the plains and move on. Princes and Dames will all know my name, The papers will shame any sin. But if I wanna go and be Star of the show I still got to know…….. What`s the Magic Number ?
Welcome to the future now it’s here for all to see You should be proud to be a part of this great society. Where all your needs are catered for And nothing bars the way You can have your heart’s desire If you’ve got the cash to pay. So you’re working hard and saving and Boy you’d better be quick Cos the goalposts keep on moving Like a carrot on a stick. To drive a fatter wedge into the great social divide Pathetic few go soaring up and the rest get left behind. In the land of milk and honey you’ll get bugger all for free, Stranded down in poundland with 99p. Sinking on an island in an ever rising sea, Stranded down in poundland with 99p. There’s taxes on your wages, Taxes on your home Taxed for using energy And talking on the phone. There’s duty on your fuel Then there’s tax upon your car Now they’re watching from their satellites You won’t get very far. But taxing home improvements is too taxing for my mind They’ll tax your scenic country view although that you are blind. So where does all the money go in this almighty scam ? A larger house, another jag, a nice retirement plan. I search for some salvation in the dark economy Sellin me crack in poundland for 99p. But who’s the real villans in this daylight robbery ? Caught shoplifting in poundland with 99p. You’ll never beat inflation No matter how you try By the time you save to reach your goal The price is twice as high. When you’re better off on benefits Then where’s your reason why ? Stay on the never never now Until the day you die. There’s nothing great in Britain now Our nation is a joke The good old days are long since gone, No Glory, No Hope. “Climb the ladder to success” The whip that drives me on But when I finally reached the top Cess was bloody gone. Bow to the purveyors of the sin of usury. Banking on the interest on my 99p. The case for my defence when you deduct the lawyer’s fee. Of 99 per cent of my 99p. The only real solution is to win the lottery. But I can’t afford a ticket with my 99p. I guess the price of freedom is still too high for me. Stranded down in poundland with 99p.
Leader 03:29
Mirror Mirror on the wall whose the greatest liar of all ? The leader of the Party. Mirror Mirror on the wall who`d stab your back to reach their goal ? The leader of the Party. In the cut-throat world of politics gonna find the kind of shit that sticks, Is the Nation blind to all the tricks ? Or too stupid to care ? Society then pays the price of the dabbling in every vice, Hey you don`t reach the top by being nice. It`s losers who play fair. Yeah, losers who play fair. Mirror Mirror on the wall who`d sell us out to save their soul ? The leader of the Party. Mirror Mirror on the wall whose skeleton closet`s getting really full ? The leader of the Party. We the Public do not get the chance To stop `em lining their pockets at our expense, So help to build the electric fence around the Lords affairs. Sell our assets one by one, Industry and service Gone, Police and Army serve the Man to keep us in our place. Yeah, Keep us in our place. World Leaders and their wives, leading luxurious lives. Sending their kids to a private school, Playing the game to their own set of rules. I don`t need a National Health, I`m a Private Healthcare man myself. I don`t care for charity. I didn`t get rich by giving it away. Mirror Mirror on the wall Who’ll serve their needs before us all ? The leader of the Party. Mirror Mirror on the wall who`d serve us better on the dole ? The leader of the Party. Out of this deceitful shower whose the hungriest for POWER ? Above all else whose greed will tower ? Without conscience or shame. Down and Down the Nation`s run, The big boy`s basking in the sun, Misappropriating Funds in someone else`s name. Yeah, Let them take the blame. Leader Leader you greedy feeder on the blood of common folk. Leader Leader you seedy deeder, take the piss and it`s no joke. Leader Leader you needy breeder and your band of ne`er do wells. Leader Leader may your God speed Ya ! Hope Ya Flaming Burn in HELL !
When the sky is Oh so grey and all the rain is pouring down, I often wonder where the sun goes when she`s not around. Up above the clouds she`s hiding Up above the world she`s shining bright. Above it all and out of sight. When the ceiling`s bearing down and all the walls are closing in, Sit and watch the daylight fading, the air growing thin. Up above the rooftops smiling, Up there like a star my guiding light. She says that everything`s alright. Wanna take a trip on the Light Fantastic ? Dying for a life but you never would`ve guessed it. Wannabe a Hero ? Wannabe a Star ? Wannabe Yourself ? Be what you are. Lunar Landing, Solar Eclipse, Nuclear Fission Silicon Chips, Blank Expressions, Points of View, Honest, I`d do anything 4 U. It`s True ! The energy you`re giving off`s the driving force in everything I do. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, Racing for a Heart Attack, On a one way trip to oblivion, with no turning back. Right there in my dreams she`s gliding, Orbiting me like a satellite. Out in the Galaxy tonight, A Supernova burning bright. At any time of day or Night, She tells me everything`s alright.
Why do I bother going out every weekend playing the same thing ? Why do I try to do something different when everybody wants more of the same ? Why do I worry that my next song has gotta be as good as the last one ? When no one’s really listening anyway. We gain experience for every day we walk this earth. So why after 40 odd years am I still never paid just what I’m worth ? Oh stop complaining and just get on with the show. I’m not complaining oh No No NO ! Why do I care ? Why do I care ? Why do I care ? At All. I could sing Laa Laa La La La Laa, All night long in every song. Sing Laa Laa La La La Laa, and know that everyone would sing along. So Sing Laa Laa La La La Laa, Laa Laa La La La Laa Laa Laa Laa, Laa Laa La La La Laa, Laa Laa La La La Laa Laa Fucking Laaaa. Now you’re standing with your back to me talking about what you just watched on TV, we’re just a Juke Box in your mind. You’re as keen to purchase our CDs as you are to contract HIV But you’d still buy half as much for twice the price. Your sadly short attention span is dwindling like the Incredible Shrinking Man. Can’t keep your focus for one whole song. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone and there’s nothing more for you to ignore. Just turn the radio on. And Sing Laa Laa La La La Laa, Laa Laa La La La Laa Laa Laa Laa, Laa Laa La La La Laa, Laa Laa Laaaa. Why do I care ? Why do I care ? Why do I care ? At All. So now it’s late and every sinew and every muscle aches, I’m contemplating what I’ve done. Go back home and rack my brains, sit in my chair tear out my hair, Wondering where it is I’m going wrong. So I stay up late and concentrate practice ‘til my fingers ache, Body and mind and heart and soul. Another night another town so seldom up so often down. Hey Man ! That’s Rock and Roll. Why do I care ? Why do I care ? Why do I care ? At All. Why do I care ? Why do I care ? Why do I care ? I don’t know. Well just for you here’s what I’ll do I’ll answer my own Question. The reason lies inside of me and my own satisfaction. I guess if you wanna be true to something be true to yourself. What I sing won’t change a thing. Makes no difference what I say. But thank you for your patience anyway.
Like to sit down by your side,  Like to get to know you see what goes on in your mind, I`d  Talk and laugh together we can put the world behind us.  Like to look into your eyes, Spend some time right by your side, I`m dazzled by your beauty and your spirit drives me wild. Like to sit down by your side, You know I`m just the same as you this breed of Humankind. Go the whole world over just to see what we can find Like to close the gap between us, Strengthen up our every weakness, Open up all of the doors and let out what`s inside. Like to sit down by your side, Light a great big bonfire we can burn our pain and strife on, Drink a glass of friendship and smoke a pipe of life, Ahh, Like to make contact with you, Like to get my message through, And I won`t give up trying for the dream I have inside. I spend my whole life looking Looking for a place Looking for a space to fit in Searching for a face Won`t you sit down by my side, Talk of things in common we can share what we both know, Oh, Put aside all of our fears and let our feelings show, Oh, Sit and watch the flowers grow, Soak up the sun`s golden glow, And make our garden Eden now until the end of Time.
You can kill all the white men, Kill all the blacks, You can wipe out all the rich and the religious maniacs. You can kill the politicians, murder the police, Assassinate the generals in the name of world peace. If it makes you happy, If it make your life seem more worthwhile, If it makes a forty hour week pass twice as fast or knocks ten pence off a pint, If it gets all those bloody homeless from out of my shop door, And makes the streets and parks a safer place for kids to play once more… Maybe I`ll buy that. The greatest minds on Earth rack their brains, Looking for the clues to help explain, How to bring it under control when Chaos spreads like cancer ? Gaze into your crystal ball………. No definite answer ? You can storm the gates of heaven in a big black limousine, You can take Adolf for a round of golf or smoke crack with the Queen. You can sing the songs of freedom `til we all go blue in the face, Push all the panic buttons and just wipe out the Human Race. If it stops injustice, if it takes the sting out the tail of life, If it could ever make hatred obsolete and snobbery as common as shite. If it could take away the suffering, take away the pain, Take away the barriers and let us live again….. I could be a part of it. All the computers in the world cannot decode, Mechanichal thinking capacity OVERLOAD ! Flitting through the data banks like a Whirling Dervish dancer. Consistently drawing blanks……… No definite answer ? Q, No Definite Answer ? Competition is essential. Well somebody`s gotta win. Failure is inevitable. Somebody`s gota lose. Resistance is Useless we all gotta go with the flow, When ambition and obsession are the only words we know. And as the turning tide of conciousness to the planes of higher thought, To discoveries as yet unmade and battles yet to be fought. All the stars and constellations fill my eyes, FREAK hallucinations mezmerize. Coded in your astral chart, the rising sign of cancer, Get Mystic Meg to sort it out……… No definite answer ? So tell me….. What`s our purpose ? No definite answer ? Who`ll win the Rat Race ? No definite answer ? No, Who`ll win the Space Race ? No definite answer ? No who`ll win the Human Race ? No definite answer ? And How can we fix it ? No definite answer ? Or is it too late to fix it ? No definite answer ? What do we look for ? No definite answer ? Ahh Have we a Future ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ? No definite answer ?……………………….
There are some people with smiles on their faces, Hate on their lips and no single trace Of the meaning they`re keeping behind their disguise. Building their lives upon lies There are some people who make like your friend, Say they`ll stand by you right up to the end, Then they let you down `cos they only pretend, To build up their friendships on lies. Chorus If they only knew the extent of the damage they do. So this one goes out to, the last remaining Few, Genuine People. Then there`s the ones with their hearts on their sleeves, Who bend over backwards to make you believe, That they`re being real whenthey really decieve, They build up an Image of lies. Then there`s the ones who will act like your lover, In all of the world there could never be another, There`s no big mistake you can`t ever recover, Don`t cover it all up with lies. Chorus Then there`s the ones who`re just out for themselves, They tell you one thing but mean something else. They change their two faces in front of your eyes, And think that you can`t see their lies.
Zaps 04:58
Time just like a river keeps on rolling, Like a restless breeze it keeps on blowing. Somewhere in my mind never knowing, Feelings in my heart never showing. Better take those chances when those chances come. One day you might just wake to find them gone. The sun up in the sky keeps on sinking, We just pass the time by simply drinking. Life passes us by without us blinking, All the things we did without thinking. Better take those chances when those chances come. One day you might just wake to find them gone. Somewhere out in space might be a better place wher no-one dies, Right now let`s make the best of what we`ve got. Cos Life goes on despite us you know it don`t really require us, To be Ready, Steady, Already or Not. Losing all the things we take for granted, Never reap the seeds that we had planted. Forget all the plans we implemented, The future like your headstone is cemented. Better take those chances when those chances come. One day you might just wake to find them gone. Somewhere out in space might be a better place wher no-one dies, Right now let`s make the best of what we`ve got. Cos Life goes on despite us you know it don`t really require us, To be Ready, Steady, Already or Not. I see your eyes are shining, I see your sun is Shining, I see your sun go down on me. But you know that`s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Here I stand, The man that I am, Don`t have a culture, Don`t have a clan, Don`t have a country, Don`t give a damn, cos I DO have a mind, and I will make a stand. To the Fascists coming up to me and snubbin what I do. Well I`ll do just what I like if it`s all the same to you. Cos I Don`t believe in race and I don`t believe in class. You`re all too damn far up your own damn ass. Do you hear what I`m saying ? I don`t care where you come from. Do you hear what I`m saying ? I don`t care who you are. Do you hear what I`m saying ? Believe in the peace man. Do you hear what I`m saying ? LOVE. Check it out ! When there`s nobody left to sing the songs of Peace there`ll be no Peace no more. When there`s nobody left to sing the songs of Freedom there`ll be no Freedom no more. Czech it out, Czech it Out ! History lesson starting……… NOW In the second world war we had to deal with the Nazis, Cos Hitler and the boys had a thing about the Jews, Now anyone with sense knows that Adolf was a Bastard, So why are you so keen to step into his shoes ? Once upon a time down the old gold mine they could shoot you if you was black, We were all so keen to end the regime but now you better not turn your back, Hear me Now. Peace and Freedom ! When you`re sending in the soldiers. Peace and Freedom ! When you`re fighting in the streets. Peace and Freedom ! Give us our own manifesto. Peace and Freedom ! To live as we please. In a sweet little place they call “The Emerald Isle” They been fighting for so long that they can`t remember why, Why the children have to suffer, why the people have to die, When we`re asking for an answer get the same old Lies. BACK DOWN, BOTH SIDES, DON`T MAKE THE SOLUTION COST NO MORE LIVES. I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like ! Start using your Brain, Put down that gun, I`ll show you something, That`s much more fun. We`re gonna have a riot to a record`s revolution, Put another 2 sugars in the final solution. Don`t try to chain the world, Don`t try to claim the land, You`re messing with a power that you`ll never understand. Look down your nose cos you think that you own it, You`re not even close man I tell you you`ve blown it, Page after page in the history books shown it, But when will you ever learn ? INDIVIDUALITY EQUALITY
Love Ya Mutha ! Mutha NutureShe`s always there a lovin` and a carin` She made the world for all to use it and gave you life so don`t abuse it Blind men open up your eyes long past time you realised The beauty and wonder of creation, over your mechanichal infutuation Always using, not replacing, her rhythmic cycle you`re outpacing Creates the crisis you`re now facing, I`ve got no time for your rat racing You see we got no time to stop and look at the greener pastures over the fence Just gear up yer car and speed away and disappear in a puff o science I love the country my mother`s garden, Tranquility my senses sharpen I feel the earth beneath my feet and take a breath of air thats sweet I got no worries I`m out pickin dem berries I see the twentieth century whistling past I look to the future of this alien culture and hope that the world can last How I hope we can save some greenery, Just long enough for our children to see The picture painted by our mother`s hand The beautiful pasture of this green and pleasant land I love my mother and I state my devotion, I know it is a worthy emotion Cos mother loves and provides for all, Summer, Winter, Spring and fall She loves each creature big and small, Man, Bird, Beast and creepy crawly Everything that flies inthe air, Everything that moves in the earth Everything that swims in the sea, Every tree every flower she gave them birth And man and woman she made them too Now what do these remorseless children do ? Rape her soil, Pollute her seas, Choke her air and burn her trees Reap the Crop - But Plant the Seed Oblivious to the warning shout "Act now my time is running out ! The Race You Run Cannot be Won Live By Love Not By Gun Take In Need And Not in Greed AND TO THE DISBELEIVIN` MAN I SAY - “IF IN DOUBT - CHECK IT OUT”
I’m a Pilot in a Race for the Future, Every Day Never Knowing what the Odds are It’s a Matter of Life and Death That’s All that I got Left Go Go Go Ace Speeder Live Your Life Death Cheater Sa Tis Fy Your Hunger Down On Dead End Corner My only will - To Win. I won`t take second best. My only need is speed. Ahead of all the rest. Go Go Go Ace Speeder Live Your Dream Space Dreamer. You`ll get what You wanna Down On Dead End Corner Cruising out beyond the speed of sound. Hearing nothing but the rush of the ground. My Body focused on the pulsing in my veins, On the dials of the cockpit of my brain. Go! Go! GO! Ace Speeder! Go! Go! GO! Ace Speeder! X2 I used to lead a quiet life, Children and a wife. Had to leave it all behind for the race that`s in my mind. There is no time to think of what has gone before. Acceleration is pushing you to push it even more. More. MORE! Alright fire me up! I`m going nova and I just can`t stop! On a path that I know is so Spiritual. I`m only ever Real when I`m Virtual. Go! Go! GO! Ace Speeder! Go! Go! GO! Ace Speeder! X2 Go! Go! GO! Dead End Corner! Go! Go! GO! Dead End Corner! X2
I eat Depression for Breakfast I’m so Lunched Out by Lunch At the Chimpanzee’s Tea party Just a Few Bananas short of a Bunch I’m too stressed out to even Worry ‘Bout My Failing Mental Health I’d Love to be so Narcissistic But I Fucking Hate myself Chorus I Don’t Need NO Psychoanalyst I Don’ Need NO G.P. It’s Normal to be Crazy In the 21st Century Can’t get to Sleep for Thinking ‘Bout My Insomnia Can’t Stop My Mind from Racing Neck + Neck Between Phobias For Pain Relief I use Psychosis Take Tension for Therapy I’m Hanging on to My Hallucinations They’re My only Luxury Chorus Be a Good Pathetic Robot Like the System tells You to Come and take your Medicine Drink it up, it’s good for You You’ll no longer need emotion Now We’re messing with your head So Stand in line, Form a Queue To join the living dead Chorus
Talk 02:35
I Painted a picture of Modern Art Should be worth a lot when I’m Dead Painted it with Horse Shit and a Dab of Menstrual Blood I painted it on Bog roll cos it’s cheap and quick and absorbs the sick And to be Thoroughly controversial I called it Andy Warhol’s Bottom I Bought a Tin of Artist’s Shit for 25 Thousand Quid I Brought it home to show me mates It Exploded in My Fridge Well I bet I know who’s Laughing now With All that Bloody Dosh Sitting out there in Beverley Hills Kissing Andy Warhol’s Bottom I Nailed Myself to a Volkswagen to Suffer for My Art This Bloke got in and Drove it away And I got Fucking Arrested Well you don’t see Me doin Landscapes Or Painting Nudes, That’s very crude I’m in a Looney Bin, Getting stuck Right in to Andy Warhol’s Bottom Andy Warhol’s Bottom Andy Warhol’s Bottom Andy Warhol’s BUM
I went walking down the town Didn’t really know why I was hangin around Didn’t have no money and I didn’t have a clue And I never expected You You turned my head, You stole my heart. You took me there from the very start. So Womma gonna do if I can’t have you Womma Gonna say if you push me away Stay inside my stupid mind Forever and a day Maybe I was looking for a reason to be, A subtle excuse why I was me Caught inna rut I guess its true, Cos I never expected you You were so cool, You were so bright. You filled my life with a blinding light. Chorus Now I cant even get to sleep thinking you’ll think I’m a creep That’s the kind of game my mind likes to play And I dare not come near you, it’s not because I fear you I just don’t know what to say So I wrote this song for you, it’s the only thing I know how to do I can’t think of any other way Solo – Chorus Life’s a drag and I’m so bored, Always wanting what I can’t afford You’re so green and I’m so blue and I wanna connect with you. Cos You lift me up, You make me Smile You Kill my pain for a little while


19 tracks written by Zero Panjenix spanning 20 years of his career as a musician and songwriter.


released October 24, 2013

Involved in this album in some way or another. Ian Guy, Bryan Faud, Nigel Burder, Simon Briggs, Robert Poole, Carrieann Stevenson, Chris Bateman, Chris Monk,


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Panjenix Accrington, UK

Panjenix are a Turbofolk Trio from East Lancashire performing a mix of excellent self written material and alternate versions of Folk, Rock and Punk songs. They feature a blend of acoustic and electronic technologies to deliver an eclectic and entertaining performance featuring songs from Political/Social comment to love songs to comedy, which has been captivating audiences countrywide for years. ... more

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